


Being Human

by FierceWingsHawks



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dreams, Gen, Post-Steven Universe Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26909074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FierceWingsHawks/pseuds/FierceWingsHawks
Summary: Because you’re going to be something extraordinary, you’re going to be ahuman being.
Relationships: Rose Quartz & Steven Universe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Being Human

**Author's Note:**

> _Just a little time_
> 
> _Just a little something that I need_
> 
> _I'm dreaming of going somewhere else_
> 
> _I'm dreaming of being human_
> 
> **[Being Human](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADDXwIvLoc4) **

He hugs his legs, putting his cheek against his knees.

He was cold and really uncomfortable in the back seat of his car because he didn’t plan this through. Not really.

_“A road trip!”_

He thought it would be a good idea.

Everyone thought that, but maybe he shouldn't be alone. Alone with his thoughts, not knowing how to interact with “normal” people or people who don’t know how many times the earth could have ended.

He doesn’t pay attention to the news, but something gives him the idea that everyone considers all that happened in Beach City as crazy theories. He doesn’t blame them, but that makes him feel disconnected, out of place in any place he goes. So staying in his car, in the middle of a forest, it’s better, even if he would prefer to sleep on a bed. But he had slept in worse places. He can deal with it.

The thing is that his thoughts are getting worse. This road trip is making everything _worse_ -

He doesn’t notice at first that he begin to have a panic attack.

The light that illuminates the interior of the car is pink because his skin changed… _again_. He is breathing faster, taking his hands to his hair, pulling, wanting to scream. But he recently changed the windows and the tires of his car for the last time he did that, so he would like to avoid that for now. Fortunately, he is still conscious enough to calm himself. But that doesn’t last long when he ended up feeling so exhausted to fall asleep, not minding still being uncomfortable.

He is dreaming; he knows he is dreaming. He knows almost all the time when he has nightmares, remembering something, seeing things happening through other people's eyes, or just his intrusive thoughts become lucid. This time-

_ Isn’t it remarkable, Steven? _

-he doesn’t know exactly what _this_ is.

_ This world is full of so many possibilities. _

But he remembers this.

_ Each living thing has an entirely unique experience. _

He knows it’s his mother’s voice.

_ The sights they see, the sounds they hear, the lives they live… are so complicated and so simple. _

Takes a breath, managing to feel the fresh breeze of the ocean.

_ I can’t wait for you to join them _ _._

He opens his eyes that, for some reason, were close, to look at the beach, to look at his mom’s back; meanwhile, she is still talking.

_ Steven, we can’t both exist _ _._

He begins to feel anger, to feel _hurt_ -

_ I’m going to become half of you. And I need you to know- _

-at the same time that his eyes fill with tears.

_ -that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me loving you and loving being **you**. _

He wants to scream at her when his mom turns to look at him, with the same smile she had in the tape that he watched before everything got worse.

“ _You are you, Steven. You have always been you.”_

That’s what he doesn’t want to hear because that doesn’t make him feel better.

Not when he changed for the _worse_.

“ _You are young... like me when I hurt Pearl… when I decided to **change**.”_

(Pink Diamond was the one with the destructive powers.

Pink Diamond was the one wanting a colony so bad that he left someone behind-)

_“I **changed** when I wasn’t supposed to because I was a Diamond, a Gem. And I did it for this planet. For your planet. **For you**.”_

“Mom-“

_“I changed like you are still changing, Steven.”_

The memory had become something else.

Maybe just him talking with his subconscious. Perhaps with his gem. For what reason? Making himself feel better?

_“But I’m telling the truth, doesn’t it?_

He thinks what to say to that because his last piece was _changed_.

He changed to become a Crystal Gem; he changed to become _more_ than Rose Quartz; he changed to become _more_ than Pink Diamond.

He became _the_ Steven Universe that helped people and gems.

(That had a breakdown after helping people and gems-)

_“The Steven Universe that now is healing and still changing... for the better.”_

His mom was closer to him now, still smiling, touching his chest, _his heart-_

“Mom...”

_“You are not alone, even if everyone is not with you. I’m still here; I’m still a part of **you**.”_

When he wakes up, still feeling cold and with dry tears on his cheeks, he ends up looking for something on the trunk of his car. The box that he thought of burning on that road trip, with everything his mom has on lions mane.

He took the tape, and after going to the next town, the footage ended up on his cellphone.

_ Because you’re going to be something extraordinary- _

He is in a park, enjoying the view of the trees already changing color.

_ -you’re going to be a **human being**. _

His mom committed mistakes that he ended up paying for.

Mistakes that hurt many people, mistakes that nobody will forget, but that he helped with the healing. Now it’s _his_ time to heal.

He knows he has family and friends back home; at the same time, he knows he is not alone right now. He has his mom with him in a way, even if he still doesn’t forgive her.

He is still growing _, changing_. Like a human being should.

He just needs _time._

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I watched some clips of the show on YT, and make me feel nostalgic when I watched clips from before the movie and after the movie (the movie that I hadn't watch really well) in a row.  
> And reading comments hating on Rose/Pink and then others defending her make me feel sad about Steven hating his mom in the end. Like, yeah, she made mistakes, but like in some comments said, Steven knew his mom backward. Forgetting how Pink decide to change for the better. And I think he ended up changing backwards for that.  
> Being the caring person without a thought (like Rose(?)) and then acting out without wanting too (like Pink) in SUF.  
> And because I saw the clip of the tape, make me question of what happened with it (listen, if in some episode the tape ended up destroy or something, I don't really remember) so I wanted Steven to remember that even if he is still mad with his mom, his mom still loved him so much.
> 
> (fyi, this is the first time I'm writing for this fandom, I never plan to do it but it hit me in the middle on the night and i had to!)


End file.
